Are you an 'over-giver' that wants to change your people-pleasing ways but don't know HOW? Do you want to be able to say 'no' without feeling guilty or bad?
That's where my framework for success comes in; it's how I taught countless people to change their habits and lifestyles while being a personal trainer, yoga teacher, and life coach and how I can help you rewire on a physical level so you can prioritize your own needs while still being a caring, considerate person.
Support & Guidance
Does this sound like you?
"Why do I keep doing this to myself?"
"Why can't I just say 'no'?"
You didn't want to disappoint your boss, so you said yes to the last minute report.
You were worried your spouse would feel neglected, so you stayed up late watching tv together.
You didn't want to let down your coworkers, so you agreed to organize the office potluck.
You felt guilty not answering your mother's phone call two days in a row, so you talked with her for an hour instead of going to yoga.
You're exhausted, overwhelmed, and frazzled.
You have zero energy, no patience and it's taking a toll on your mind, body and damaging all your relationships.
But most of all, you're angry with yourself.
You feel you have no one else to blame; you're the one that kept saying 'yes' to everything; you're the one with poor boundaries.
Stop kicking yourself for not being able to say 'no'.
People-pleasing is a coping mechanism learned in early life, that has become so ingrained a way of being, that it's the default mechanism for how you operate in the world.
Your behaviour is a 'reflex survival response' where learned experiences (reward/punishment) shaped your brain so that it associated: 'disappointing others = painful consequences'.
This is why a look of anger or disappointment becomes a crippling anxiety that keeps you trapped in self-sacrificing and people-pleasing behaviours.
You experience a tug of war between your brain and body every time you are faced with choosing 'self' over others.
What was helpful in ensuring attachment as a child no longer applies and instead has become an energy-draining pattern that is harming your relationships and your health.
Maybe you've realized that...
But you think it's just the way you are...
Your people-pleasing is a personality trait, a character flaw, even...
You've tried to change but the extreme discomfort of saying 'no' means avoiding conflict wins out and is a much easier tactic than trying to speak up for yourself is...
Besides, saying 'no' feels...
Or you try convincing yourself you shouldn't be feeling the way you do in the first place.
But here's the thing you have to understand...
You need to rewire your brain so that saying 'no' feels good in your body
You can rewire new pathways to replace the old, no-longer-helpful ones.
You can learn the skills necessary to build healthier, more balanced relationships while continuing to be a caring, loving and helpful person in the world.
You CAN make yourself a priority AND care for others in a more balanced way…
…but it requires support from people on the same journey as you… it requires knowledge, practicality, inspiration, and a community where you can be reminded – and learn how – to rewire so your brain and body do not associate saying 'no' with danger and threat.
That's where my framework for success comes in.
Framework for Success
"Powerful avalanches begin with small shifts." -Pamela Walsh McFarland
Learning new skills - like knowing where to 'draw the line' when it comes to over-giving, how to deal with difficult people or communicate your needs - requires steps that are small enough so that they are doable and build your confidence. The core activities and concepts you'll learn won't take up too much time or require any inordinate commitment - they're short and sweet and build on each other, leading to long-term positive change.
Fun & Enjoyable Activities
If you don't look forward to something, you're not going to do it. Personal choices and actions are influenced by their consequences; this is why the activities we do together are enjoyable and fun, and have the option to modify them to your own taste and preference.
Accountability & Tracking Progress
Self-monitoring is a key ingredient to successful behaviour change. The best of intentions can fall by the wayside if you don't track your progress - or what's getting in the way of that progress. Having a community, and guide, that does the monthly activity along with you, as well as little reminders, tips, and tools to help you along, can act as powerful motivators to keep you going and get you back on track when life gets in the way.
Support & Guidance
Sharing common ground with others on a similar journey as your own, as well as being part of a community that is authentic and understanding, is vital for those times when challenges arise and you need support. The private community forum offers a safe space where you can exchange insights, talk about your experiences, and find encouragement to help you overcome hurdles along the way; and the monthly live Q&A with Kaliopi allows you direct access to expert guidance when you feel lost or want inspiration and direction in implementing meaningful changes in your life.
Life is beautiful, but also messy. Sometimes we need someone else to remind us of the beauty. This group does just that. We share challenges and victories while celebrating each other. We remind each other that we are not our failures and that we are worthy of greatness.
No matter what stage of life we are in we can learn from others. We share wisdom, experience and encouragement as we navigate our days. Kaliopi offers beautiful themes and practices we can add to our own lives.
Nature lover. Scientist. Introvert. Artist.
Perpetual seeker of awe & inspiration.
I can really relate to the struggle of changing lifelong people-pleasing tendencies, as it's been a huge part of my own journey.
In my early 20's I underwent a huge weight-loss and lifestyle change that led me from cell biologist and microbiology researcher to personal trainer and yoga teacher.
Healthy eating and exercise, however, weren't enough for true wellness. In my mid-30's I developed a debilitating chronic illness that forced me to take a closer look at how my over-achieving, wonder-woman mentality and self-sacrificing ways eroded my health. That personal transformation led me to become a mind-body coach and life coach.
Figuring out how to rewire my body and brain anew so I can speak up for myself and be clear on when to say 'yes' and when to say 'no' - while managing my significant health limitations - hasn’t been easy, but that’s exactly what I’ve done and help others do too.
Introducing the kaliopi nikitas community
You've never seen a membership like this!
Science-based knowledge combined with mindfulness-based practices that we do together, help you rewire and learn the skills you need to change your people-pleasing ways and build healthier, more balanced relationships - at work, home and social circles.
By joining the membership and implementing the practices you'll be well on your way to:
Less Stress, More Calm
Learn how to replace energy drains with restorative practices so you have less stress & more calm.
Improve your mental and physical well-being by following an expert framework building in healthy habits each month.
Find out how to live in the moment, with increased awareness, while still living in a tech-driven world.
Time & Energy
Free up time & energy by understanding how to form & reinforce healthy boundaries and self-care.
Laughter & Delight
Uplift & enhance your daily life by introducing play, creativity, & meaningful connection.
Learn realistic, practical steps that lead to inspired action, personal empowerment & real change.
Connection & Support
Feel supported by a community of like-minded people and access to expert guidance.
I enjoy Kaliopi's timely teachings on how to get a grip on the insane pace of life so many of us find ourselves living. Her lessons provide new insight on concepts I grasp intellectually but had never been successful in implementing in my day-to-day life.
Kaliopi's approach to cultivating a sense of awe in everyday life is effective and can produce immediate and meaningful change. Kaliopi brings lessons to life by offering manageable, bite-size, and practical ideas on incorporating change using monthly activities to help develop habit and awareness in a particular focus area.
I was too busy to bring about personal change until Kaliopi's site offered me insight on how to begin reclaiming my own life, one step at a time.
What do you get access to in the Members Area?
New Monthly Content
Each month has a new theme that focuses on some aspect of healthy boundary-building or self-care practices.
A supportive online community and safe haven with others on a similar journey as your own.
Monthly Live Q&A with Kaliopi
Each month Kaliopi goes live to answer your questions and do a deep-dive into the monthly focus.
Content Library & Resources
The courses and content created each month lives on in the Library for you to access whenever you wish.
"Why I joined: I joined the membership because I find it hard to step away from work when the office is in my head all the time and I'd like to learn how to rest it.
Kaliopi's personal life experiences coupled with her breadth of knowledge as a researcher and trainer in body sciences, an entrepreneur, and as a life coach has resulted in the creation of this empathetic, relatable, and encouraging program.
I am so excited to be a founding member of this fun and fulfilling membership site!
I am looking forward to this being a support system, and also a safe place for participating and getting feedback. I'm grateful for having this forum that will help me navigate my own pursuits and my misgivings, as well as my wins! I think I will be challenged and encouraged, and I am committed to being an active member.
JOIN TODAY AND GET INSTANT ACCESS TO THE community
Take the first step towards caring for yourself without the guilt and anxiety!
15 Day No Questions Asked Money-Back Guarantee
If you join and decide the Membership isn't right for you, just let me know. I will happily cancel your membership and refund your money.
Here are answers to some frequently asked questions:
Each month has a new theme that focuses on some aspect of healthy boundary-building skills and self-care practices. You're not simply shown what to do and left to your own devices - instead, a four-pronged approach helps you integrate the concept into daily life:
1. Short video lessons explain what the focus is about and how it can improve your life.
2. A simple but fun 'core activity' is introduced that we do together throughout the month.
3. A private community forum offers a safe space to share experiences and insights and also acts as a supportive form of accountability.
4. Expert guidance and direct access to Kaliopi during the monthly live Q&A session (as well as her intermittent participation in the forum) means you have ongoing connection, and resources to help support you in taking those small steps that lead to big, positive changes.
You also get updates, inspiration, and gentle reminders emailed to you weekly to help you along.
That's the beauty of this membership style - you are free to engage as much or as little as you wish. You can engage, consume, and come and go as you want - without an overwhelming commitment.
Everything is created with simplicity and practicality in mind, so that even if you have very little time you still benefit from visiting the site.
Rewiring our brains and learning new skills take time and practice, especially when we're trying to change lifelong patterning. Like exercise and healthy eating, there are certain practices we need to do on an ongoing basis in order to reap the benefits. It also helps to have a support system, a framework to follow, and some form of accountability. The monthly live session, community forum, and resources all help you stay on track.
Unlike a course where your knowledge or gains trail off after you've completed it, having monthly access means you continue to build on, and sustain, the healthy boundary initiatives you're developing. You'll find being a member most helpful on those days where feelings of guilt, anxiety or self-doubt overwhelm you, and need a safe haven to retreat to.
Participate as much, or as little, as you want in the online community. Simply know that it's always there to support you.
Yes, you can. Obviously, we'd love it if all our members stuck around forever but if you do decide to cancel you'll be able to do so with just 2 clicks of a mouse.
You sure can! You can upgrade to an annual membership any time with a couple of clicks from your account page. Our system will automatically take into account the time left on your current subscription, so you'll never be double-billed either.
If you have any questions that we haven't answered here, or would like us to clarify anything about the Community, or if you're having any problems with the website, then you can get in touch with the team using the form on the contact page or send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and we'll help you out.
Kaliopi's wisdom and gentle encouragement to find "awe" in the simplest ways and places has helped me view the world through a new lens, one that provides the joy of paying attention to the most basic beauties of life.
It has had a profound impact on how I view and interface with the world.